Going to the Dogs

Sarah Hitchcock had heard all she wanted to hear about her biological clock.

Sarah was 30, unmarried but willing, and had been through enough failed relationships to wonder if she would ever find a husband.

That was frustrating enough, but whenever a well-intentioned friend would offer the observation that “your biological clock is ticking” Sarah became mad enough to scream or take a punch at the commenter.

Or even to just grab a real clock and beat the person over the head with it.

Sarah’s singleness was a subject of concern with her family and friends. Of course, they offered various opinions of what she should be looking for in a man. Sarah tried them all, with pretty much the same dismal results.

She dated rich men, but all they wanted to talk about was how much money they had and how many things they owned. She dated handsome men, but they were arrogant. She dated powerful and successful men, but they were controlling and demanding. 

Then one day while pondering her situation Sarah took out a yellow legal pad and listed the attributes she would like in a potential mate. He should be friendly, kind, gentle, unfailingly loyal, love unconditionally and forgive immediately.

“Wouldn’t it be great,” she thought to herself, “that whenever I walk in the door I could tell that he felt the best thing that happened to him today was that I came home?”

Eventually she realized she was describing her dog, Otis.

Since she couldn’t marry a dog –except for a few isolated places around the country -- Sarah decided to judge the men in her life against the qualities she saw in Otis.

It took a while, but eventually she met a man named Andrew who fit the bill. They’re engaged now and plan to be married next year.

And they’ve already decided what they’ll name their first son: Otis.