A Streetcar Named Moe

Liz Sorenson loved the Three Stooges so much that as a young girl she decided that her first-born son would be named Moe.

True to her word, when Liz gave birth to a boy years later she named him Moe.

This delighted Liz so much that she announced that her next son would be named Larry, the next Curley, and, if the need arises, her fourth would be called Shemp. Fortunately, at least for the prospective Shemp, her procreation stopped with Moe.

Is That a Cow, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Lon Rizzo always wanted to run his own garage.

As long as he could remember he was interested in cars and engines and how they worked. As a boy he would hang out in the local garages and ask the mechanics all kinds of questions, at least until they got sick of him and told him to get lost.

Rudy Trips the Light Fantastic

 

Rudy Sturgis was a middle-aged man in possession of few social skills.

Whenever he took stock of his life he would wonder what he could do to increase his popularity and expand a social life that might be charitably called stagnant.

Then one day a friend suggested he take dance lessons.

Two Chocolate Chips off the Old Block

Outside of Cain and Abel, it’s hard to picture two more competitive brothers than Al and Anthony Butterman.

All their lives the siblings, who were born just 10 months apart (what can we say, their mom Joyce didn’t waste any time) competed in just about everything they did.

Rolling With the Gift of Gab

Mitchell Lowenstein liked to refer to himself as a people person. 

A people person is what some folks prefer to call themselves when they realize their greatest skill is they’re very comfortable talking to anyone about anything. 

On a Positive Note

Somewhere along the line, where the approach to raising children changed from how their folks did it to how they do it today, some modern parents struck upon the idea that nothing can be more important than their children having high self-esteem.

Feeling good about yourself was imperative, they reasoned. Their children could only excel if they looked at themselves as talented and gifted individuals destined to do great things in their lives. They were special, and it was important they and everyone else, even those who didn’t care a lick, knew that.

Same Game, You Just Add Gravity

 

Orson McFeeney was a man in search of the million-dollar idea.

Sure, he understood the value of hard work and stuff like that, but what he really wanted was to come up with an idea that would make him more money than he ever dreamed off, all while sitting back and doing pretty much nothing while the cash rolled in.

Sort of like a U.S. Congressman.

Going to the Dogs

Sarah Hitchcock had heard all she wanted to hear about her biological clock.

Sarah was 30, unmarried but willing, and had been through enough failed relationships to wonder if she would ever find a husband.

That was frustrating enough, but whenever a well-intentioned friend would offer the observation that “your biological clock is ticking” Sarah became mad enough to scream or take a punch at the commenter.

Or even to just grab a real clock and beat the person over the head with it.

Looking for the Write Stuff

Ever since she was in junior high school, Carol Heckathorn had aspired to be a famous author.

In the four decades since she had churned out dozens of books and submitted letters to hundreds of agents and publishers with the hope of getting her words in print. With every book came a steady stream of rejection letters.

The Man With Two Forks

In the sometimes minimalist world of men who live alone, Clark Memminger probably isn’t too much out of the ordinary in a lot of ways.

Clark is a confirmed bachelor, a status that he and every woman he has ever met seem determined to perpetuate.

Not that he’s complaining. At 57 he has pretty much come to grips with the fact that he’s never going to get married. There are worse fates he reasoned, like having a giant wart growing on the end of your nose or not having cable TV.

The Woman Who Loved Richard X. Slattery

Richard X. Slattery

For many people the road of life includes spots where their dreams come up against the brick wall of reality.

 

Some simply recalculate their route and go on. Others back up and keep ramming into that wall over and over again. Every once in a while someone will break through. But sadly the usual ending is the wall comes crumbling down, burying their hopes along with them.

Such was the spirit-breaking plight of Twila Morgenstern, known along Patterson Avenue simply as The Woman Who Loved Richard X. Slattery.