The Squirrel Whisperer

 Justin Mulneix was a pretty normal kid growing up.

He did the usual kids’ stuff. He liked playing and he liked animals and when he got old enough he liked lying in bed staring at the posters of various female singers and movie stars on his wall. Enough said about that.

But one thing that made him different from the other kids on Patterson Avenue was his fascination with squirrels. It’s not clear how and when Justin became so interested in these little creatures.

The First Annual Patterson Avenue Pancake Eating Contest

Every Saturday morning Malcolm Forsythe and his next-door neighbor on Patterson Avenue, Scott Barringer, would have breakfast together.

They always ate at the same place: Floyd’s Flapjack Palace. All of Floyd’s customers claimed there wasn’t a better place to eat pancakes than there.

Malcolm, who was a pretty big guy, always ordered the big stack of buttermilk pancakes. Scott, who was about average size, would go with the short stack of buckwheat pancakes. During their meal Malcolm would invariably start bragging about how many pancakes he could eat.

It could be asked at this point what kind of man has nothing more to brag about than how many pancakes he can eat, but maybe that’s a story for another day.

Easy as Pie

This is how one man’s supermarket blunder became two new culinary experiences.

It all started one day when Lionel Ferguson was making his way through the local grocery store. Lionel wasn’t much for any kind of shopping, but he was okay with shopping for food as long as there weren’t a lot of other shoppers in the store. As a matter of fact, he found it kind of relaxing to go to the supermarket and look at all the food.

As he walked down the frozen food aisle he noticed a buy-one-get-one-free special on Brubaker’s frozen crumb apple pies.

History will show that up until that day Lionel had never purchased a frozen pie. But the lure of two for one was too much to pass up. Besides, he liked pie. So he bought two of them and took them home. Then things started to unravel.